It's that time of the year again - July - and a time that breaks my heart every year. Actually the countdown begins on my birthday in January when you got your diagnosis and our lives changed forever. I relive all the things we did in those last 6 months. All your treatments, scans, blood tests. Our last little holiday in Brid where we spent 5 lovely days without having to think about what might happen in the future. No that's not true - how could we ever forget what might happen, we just didn't realise it would be so soon. You didn't want to know how long you had left so when they asked us if we had any questions this was the one thing we never asked. And it was better that way. We made plans for the future, lived each day as normally as we could -until those last 2 weeks when the cancer spread to your brain and began to take away the man I knew and loved so much. It started on the 5th July when you began to get confused about little things, culminating on the day you had to be rushed into hospital, the 8th. On the 10th it was confirmed that the cancer had spread to your brain and we were now entering the last phase of your life. The memories from that time will remain with me forever and can even now bring me to tears. On the 17th I brought you home so everyone could say goodbye to you in their own way. It was open - house and people came and went as they wished and you loved it. On 20th July at 7.20am you took your last breath and my life as I knew it also came to an end. I shall always love you Ken and no it doesn't get easier. I miss you so so much and I wish we could have spent the rest of our lives together - grow old together. Please wait for me.